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The unforgiving dad jean is indiscriminate in embarrassing its wearer-both President Obama and Mitt Romney, who are dads, were seen wearing dad jeans on the campaign trail. It fails to meet the gay criteria on all fronts-fit is minimal, burliness is expansive, and color, oh that color. The dad jean is the least homosexual pant on the planet. "Look at that hot guy in dad jeans," said no one ever. Mind you, each subset of each Kinsey category has its outliers and there my be variances determined by the tightness of the pant: Kinsey 0: "Exclusively heterosexual." Using those metrics: fit, cut, burliness, and color, we've come up with a completely unscientific Kinsey scale of pant homosexuality. Without missing a beat, the staffer responded, "Well, your pants could be tighter." "How do I look?" Weiner asked a gay campaign staffer. Weiner noticed this effect too, but a Weiner campaign staffer noted that fit is just as key as color: To that, Scarborough noted this morning that he believes that color has a determining effect on the gayness of a pant and that the Nantucket Red pantone made his pants homosexual. An easy way to think about is sushi to a smothered burrito. In January of last year, Barney's Simon Doonan made the assertion that inanimate, particularly food, can be gay. Doonan said that gay food is lighter, brighter, more artistic, art-directed and lesbian or heterosexual food is heavier, droopier, burlier. But this brings us to this necessary question: What makes pants gay? Are they born that way? Nature or is it nurture? Is the pant or the wearer that makes it gay? Weiner, going by what he's told women in the past, is obviously not gay.
![show pictures of gay men in red shirts show pictures of gay men in red shirts](https://assets.vogue.com/photos/5c733876f9c7e82d74242e31/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/GettyImages-1131903704.jpg)
Similarly, Anthony Weiner's choice of bright-red pant at a DOMA ruling rally earlier this summer, and Weiner's own comments about them prompted The New York Times's Lawrence Downes to ask: "Is he really saying he hasn’t had time to change out of his gay pants?" Scarborough's sartorial choice of wearing salmon-colored chinos caused people like Joy Behar and conservative blogs like Townhall to dub his pants homosexual. But recently, and thanks to political figures like Joe Scarborough and Anthony Weiner, gay or not gay has become a determining characteristic.